another one for u

i am really sorry for being such a bad girl for u. i was hard headed, stubborn, and i always didnt wanna listen to u. instead, i was selfish, even i have always been tried to be changed. and i myself have always been WANTing to change. but i guess theres something wrong in the process, and i think, i mean i am sure that the something wrong is my attitude.
i am terribly sorry for what i have done. i was completely selfish. when i recall back all the times, i realize how bad, evil, selfish i am. i dont care if all this sounds harsh, i still want to admit my mistakes as i realize it, not as i am told. i wanna be much more guilty than u know i am. because when i feel completely guilty, i will feel more eager to change so bad even tho u say i am not that much guilty.still, i wanna say i am guilty, completely.
And for that, i promise that i will change and i promise that soon we can see the results and the changes. i promise that this will be the last of me, being a selfishly hard headed girl. i'll change, and we'll change, and we will see the changes. reading this kinda makes me think of myself as a very bad girl, but wth, i guarantee that the whole purpose is for our own good. AND I STILL CAN HEAR U SAY, ON AND ON AND ON, THAT ALL THIS IS A LESSON FOR US.
again, i apologize truthfully, i am sorry, i am guilty towards u, and i promise i'll change, this time, for real. i am sorry again, i love u, lots.

with guilt+apologies+promise,
cuna@hemi, ily.

iny

another realization ive been having these few days is actually pretty much the same i had before. and it only happens when i can;t stay contacted with zarif as usual. before this indon la, siam la, and his busy-ness also strike me.and this time, hatyai..haihh. i can't help from missing him a lot even tho i understand the situation. but still, of course i wanna be like a baby and always want to be spoilt by him, cz i know he loves when i act that way. of course, cz i am his baby. haha, i feel my post this time is a lil bit lovey dovey, err, i think a lot. but to tell u cat, i totally understand. but biarla i nak manja2 jgak..hehehe,. but i will still leave u to do ur things, like ur bombing thing tuu..i understand the balancing that we hav to do.its for our good too, dear. hehe. oh ye, behold, i will be joining u bombing soon..haha r u intimidated?? yeah u are.. ehh what am i nonsense-ing about ni. =D merepeknye.
anyway, im excited for my trip to singapore cz u'll be the one missing and needing me! haha, nahh, me will miss n need u too. and, exam results will come out real soon, and it jerks me out thinking about it, im afraid i might screw my pointer this sem. whatever it is, lets hope for the best!. insyAllah.

i love u, wash ur hands!
cuna@hemi

realization

u never realized of its existence until it;s already gone.
u'll only appreciate it when u have already lost it.
u only realize how much u love, appreciate and acknowledge a person when the person is already gone.
u never feel u're guilty until an incident makes u realize that u are,
u were never sorry until it is already too late.
and when it is already too late, there;s nothing u can do accept for REGRETTING, and hoping for FORGIVENESS. human are always like that.

even tho i didnt know or close to a person, but when the person is gone, i realize that the person was actually SOMEBODY.

and with the lost of my acquaintance, arwah Muiz Roslin,
may he rest in peace, be blessed and be placed with all the other saalih.

al-Fatihah.

cuna.

---

it's almost two weeks being home with beloved familyand relatives, and it is certainly not a, 'hey, it's already two weeks!!', instead, its a lot like this, ' laa!!! baru two weeks!! dang!', well, sorry for being like this. but this always happens to me when holidays come, i always feel like time flies so slow like it could fall from flying in any minute[ u know, cz it feels soooo slow], but when the holiday was abt to end, i will feel, 'alah, malasnye nk balik campus, malasnye nak pegi class, here comes financial issues, again, macam2la.' well, thats human, or i always call it 'manusiawi', humans are never grateful for what they have, n when they already lost it or abt to lose it, then they regret it.' basically, the word is not supposed to be 'they', its supposed to be 'we' or 'us', coz we r pretty much the same. But, on the other hand, positive things do come in both situations, whether the holiday juz started, or it is on its ending. Soon, when the new semester starts, i can get started with being independent, coz i dont live in the hostel anymore, i'll get to hang out with my peeps, get to see my beloved Zarif, and soon therell be New Year Countdown [i hav to join!], YES or Year End Sale! so excited about it, i can get back to Shopping!FABULOUS! and of course, start to learn new courses [interestinggggg...]
But what is so interesting about the holidays, cuna?? adelah bende interestingnye.. first! u got to spend almost all the time u ever had with ur family! wow thats a one month chance u get out of 6 months, it does worth it tho. secondly, u could all the rest and relax or the relief or breathing or sleep or whatever people call it. of course, during the sem, i didnt get enough sleep with all the assignments, all the exhaustions, rigid schedules. Third, during the holidays la i can pay no mind abt my financial. makan kat rumah, wahh, no headaches la,. and one more thing, Hari RaYa Haji is coming soon, juz a few days from now, and it is a celebration. =) Abg Shaz balik, Kakak, Abg Zul and beloved Zidane balik, and its Raya, of course it'll be fun.
And after that, ade la family activities, next month, Singapore maybe, its been a while since weve gone for trips like this, well, cant wait for it, excited, sure it's gonna be fun. =D

well, i guess thats it la. might be posting some more soon, it's holiday, got nothing else to do=)

lotsoflove, Cuna@Hemi

one year ONE YEAR!

it's 2nd of november o9! it's already one year since 2/11/08..
la..dah one year la..it feels skejapnye..tgk2 eh dah one year..
well, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY DEAREST...love u lots lah..mcm biaselah kan..
hehe..
Alhamdulillah..its a year already.. feels dah byk we've been thru together.. mcm2lah..
but still banyak lagila kene face. kan3.. i will always pray that we will stay this way as long as we could, thru laughters and cries, n i will always pray for the best of us, in every way and everythinG we do, so that we could be the coolest item. haha..
well, there r still lotsa things we need to improve..but i know we do have the strength and will.
so, i hope we'll stay together to reach whats best and right through the right way. n i also pray and hope we will never be diverted by any negative distractions..

together, we the FAT SkUAT CAN MAKE IT!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY again motty!!!<3333

more i need

i wanna be rich and famos!
haha merepek!

now for realsss...
i wanna be DIFFERENT,
DIFFERENT: means REAL different.
i wanna be LOYAL, PURE loyal.to my loved ones.
i love people who love me.=D
i love CATS!
I'll talk to evry cat i see anywhere.meow2.
i love HEMO CAT!!
I think i am living a happy life.

but i think i need more of certain things,.
i need to be HEALTHIER,as this is my crises right now.
i need to be more just with my life.

and i wish i were a HAPPY INSOMNIAC.
why eh?
tanya i sendiri la bile jumpa i.hehe

putting hi-hopes,
cuna@hemi

pls giv me support

thats me. beside me,one of my besties,mah. well.i can see my self in the picture a lil bulat.
that time i gained a few pounds. n i looked GOOD and felt AWESOME. in 2 and half months, i gained 6 kgs. i was happy.i was on top of the world.haha.yea,thats what i want. but now, it all went down balik.IN FACT,IT GETS WORSE. i dont feel that good, and i know i dont look that good. ppl telling im smaller..kurusnye! i dont like it,in fact,i hate it.. but i'll try to make it up again. its just that my life is not balanced,mkn pon kurang, x tentu, problems, peer pressure, financial, study, and all.they all affect me.besides, i fell ill always.that made me worse.but thank god i have my zarif. he's always there supporting me,taking care of me. i promise i'll change everything starting after raya ni. since time raya pon sakit.apela nasib. but i swear,i'll change EVERYTHING. GOD,PLS GIV ME STRENGTH.evryone,PLS DO SUPPORT ME. thnx. love u all.

anyway, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN.=)