another one for u

i am really sorry for being such a bad girl for u. i was hard headed, stubborn, and i always didnt wanna listen to u. instead, i was selfish, even i have always been tried to be changed. and i myself have always been WANTing to change. but i guess theres something wrong in the process, and i think, i mean i am sure that the something wrong is my attitude.
i am terribly sorry for what i have done. i was completely selfish. when i recall back all the times, i realize how bad, evil, selfish i am. i dont care if all this sounds harsh, i still want to admit my mistakes as i realize it, not as i am told. i wanna be much more guilty than u know i am. because when i feel completely guilty, i will feel more eager to change so bad even tho u say i am not that much guilty.still, i wanna say i am guilty, completely.
And for that, i promise that i will change and i promise that soon we can see the results and the changes. i promise that this will be the last of me, being a selfishly hard headed girl. i'll change, and we'll change, and we will see the changes. reading this kinda makes me think of myself as a very bad girl, but wth, i guarantee that the whole purpose is for our own good. AND I STILL CAN HEAR U SAY, ON AND ON AND ON, THAT ALL THIS IS A LESSON FOR US.
again, i apologize truthfully, i am sorry, i am guilty towards u, and i promise i'll change, this time, for real. i am sorry again, i love u, lots.

with guilt+apologies+promise,
cuna@hemi, ily.

iny

another realization ive been having these few days is actually pretty much the same i had before. and it only happens when i can;t stay contacted with zarif as usual. before this indon la, siam la, and his busy-ness also strike me.and this time, hatyai..haihh. i can't help from missing him a lot even tho i understand the situation. but still, of course i wanna be like a baby and always want to be spoilt by him, cz i know he loves when i act that way. of course, cz i am his baby. haha, i feel my post this time is a lil bit lovey dovey, err, i think a lot. but to tell u cat, i totally understand. but biarla i nak manja2 jgak..hehehe,. but i will still leave u to do ur things, like ur bombing thing tuu..i understand the balancing that we hav to do.its for our good too, dear. hehe. oh ye, behold, i will be joining u bombing soon..haha r u intimidated?? yeah u are.. ehh what am i nonsense-ing about ni. =D merepeknye.
anyway, im excited for my trip to singapore cz u'll be the one missing and needing me! haha, nahh, me will miss n need u too. and, exam results will come out real soon, and it jerks me out thinking about it, im afraid i might screw my pointer this sem. whatever it is, lets hope for the best!. insyAllah.

i love u, wash ur hands!
cuna@hemi

realization

u never realized of its existence until it;s already gone.
u'll only appreciate it when u have already lost it.
u only realize how much u love, appreciate and acknowledge a person when the person is already gone.
u never feel u're guilty until an incident makes u realize that u are,
u were never sorry until it is already too late.
and when it is already too late, there;s nothing u can do accept for REGRETTING, and hoping for FORGIVENESS. human are always like that.

even tho i didnt know or close to a person, but when the person is gone, i realize that the person was actually SOMEBODY.

and with the lost of my acquaintance, arwah Muiz Roslin,
may he rest in peace, be blessed and be placed with all the other saalih.

al-Fatihah.

cuna.